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When we feel out of control in any way, we fall into an infinity loop of negative emotion. Where we go first and stay the longest depends on which human need is strongest for us.


 Short term fix - Most people try to get out of this emotional loop by;

  • Changing environments – pub, gym, going for a walk/drive, casino, club etc

  • Changing their biochemistry – smoking, drinking, taking drugs, food etc

These attempts are at best short term and at worst, fatal. 


Long term fix - Being conscious of ALL your options will eradicate the feeling of being out of control.  If you refute an option, this is your power, not your lack of power. 


Changing your idea about what is possible will cause your Ego Trip to disappear and put you back into an empowered position.  

To help you unstick your thinking here, use the Healing Wisdoms



Some people have such a high need for significance, the easiest way to satisfy that need is to have a huge problem that they can focus on having to deal with, or lots of problems all the time. You can see how this is a tiring and unpleasant way to live – but if it’s the easiest and consistent way to meet our needs it is the strategy we run! 




It may come as a surprise to many to learn that depression is most often a self induced state.  Other than the cause of a naturally unbalanced serotonin level – the happy chemical we naturally produce – most common after giving birth and when the daylight hours aren’t enough to maintain adequate levels of this happy chemical in our bodies, depression is a state we ‘automatically’ enter into to meet our need for connection when we feel that we are not getting that connection elsewhere.  Our needs must be met even if it is done in a negative way. 

This negative connection with ourselves is a downward spiral hence called DEPRESSion.  It also feeds our need for significance and provides a very high level of certainty.   Anything that meets 3 or more human needs at a high level becomes an addiction.  No wonder it is hard to break out of!

If someone tries to get you out of a depression that you’re getting connection, significance and certainty from, your connection part can often feel threatened and throws you into the Angry loop of your Crazy 8 where you can best defend your depression!! 



Depression just like any other human state is a choice made at the unconscious level.  It can change instantly – yes ☺ instantly by;

  • Realizing that depression is an unconscious decision you make to actually meet your human needs (connection) in the absence of an ideal situation (albeit negatively)

  • Realising and believing that you most definitely ARE IN CONTROL! (Being at cause)

  • A conscious realisation as to the real root cause of the depression (Seeing the gift)

  • Acknowledging that a negative mood is not only horrible to experience but very damaging to the body and mind

  • Realising that you ALWAYS have options and discovering what they are and,

  • A decision to create your positive experience using a happy triad (+belief, + posture & +focus)

This last point is actually the easiest part, as when the other points are realized, the unconscious mind is happy to go co-operate because is sees its other two fulfilling human needs of growth and contribution may well be met. During depression these needs are not being met at all. 

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